I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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