just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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