I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
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That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
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True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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