My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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