You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
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Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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