Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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