Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
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But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
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I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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