I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize