whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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