I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
only you would photoshop your dick
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize