Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
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He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
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