I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
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After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
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And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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