RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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