you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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