the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize