Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize