you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
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In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
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You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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