I only kidnapped one of them. chill
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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