hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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