I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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