Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I sprained my soul last night
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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