i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize