Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
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also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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