Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize