I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize