I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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