Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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