Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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