I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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