Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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