first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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