I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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