don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
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You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
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No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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