she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
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You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
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Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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