somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
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She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
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Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm always down for nudity.
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