they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
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I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
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LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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