my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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