you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize