He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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