About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
How does one acquire holy water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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