shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
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He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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