I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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