Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize