So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
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