I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
There's even glitter on my cock...
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