First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize