I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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