Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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