Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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