whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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